03 January 2011
Obviously, my long-term subbing assignment has been keeping me insanely busy, or I would have blogged a bit more in the past few months. Unfortunately, as much as I do love blogging, I am nearing the end of my assignment. As I get ready to exit my classroom, update my resume, and line up employment again for the however-long-meantime between this job and a full-time teaching position, I find myself intensely sad. I don't know why; I knew this was going to end eventually.
Day in and day out, there are 128 adolescents asking me why I have to leave, wondering if maybe there is a job for me somewhere around the school building, telling me that they have bonded to me and that they don't want me to leave. At the same time as it feels wonderfully rewarding to hear that I've impacted them so much and built such strong relationships, they also have no idea how hard it's going to be for me to leave that classroom. Granted, after this holiday break that we're coming off of, I imagine it will feel awesome to sleep in past 5:00 am for a few days, finish up the last bit of grading I'll have to do, and have some time to myself to read a new book or spend time with the people I've been sort of neglecting. But just like the end of my internship, the novelty of free time will wear off quickly. Last year, I was relieved for about a week, and then I started missing it. Wondering what they were up to each day. Feeling like I hadn't accomplished anything even slightly meaningful for anyone besides myself. Missing hearing what was going on in their everyday lives.
You get attached to those little (well, maybe not so little in the case of a high school teacher) buggers. Really quickly and really deeply attached.
I always wondered how it was that my teachers could teach loads of kids year in and year out and still remember me when I came back to visit.
It's not such a mystery now; I'll remember these kids for the rest of my life.